Tipsy (Drunken) Pudding
Did you know that if you drown pumpkin bread pudding in Wild Turkey, you can then light it on fire???
(The Doors would have been proud.)
Tonight’s Dinner Party
OK, technically I guess tonight but let’s call it “tomorrow” night since I haven’t had any nighty-nighty yet.
Here’s what’s on the menu:
- Bacon-wrapped dates stuffed with whatever cheese I scrounge up
- Salad wtih persimmons, feta, and hazelnuts
- Pan-seared chicken (we call it seared rather than fried because we are snooty) with a balsamic mushroom sauce served over some smashed potatoes which will probably have some cheesy goodness hidden in them
- Stilton cheesecake with rhubarb compote
Fuck, I haven’t even done the shopping yet!
I Smell a Rat
I smell a rat.
And when I smell a rat, I tend to be right.
Although, it is, of course, difficult to say to someone, “I know you’re a rat even though I have no actual proof you’re a rat” without looking completely and utterly CRAZY.
But I know. I just know.
Something is fishy. Or ratty.
Something is rotten in Denmark. Or more accurately, Woodside.
“Every Man’s Dream Girl”
Apparently my ability/desire/willingness to consume two pints of Guiness and a shot of Jameson’s on a Wednesday afternoon makes me “every man’s dream girl.” At least according to certain co-workers.
Liver donor? Anyone? Anyone???
“The Alice Waters of Bacon Desserts”
A friend called me that the other day. I LOVE that.
But let’s digress shall we?
Why the fuck not? We always digress…
I was perusing Bon Appetit yesterday when I came across a recipe for Oat, Pecan, and Date Sticky Biscuits. This recipe SCREAMS for BACON. So why not subsitute BACON for the dates, smother the whole mess in cinnamon-rum sauce and call it dessert???
A Bit About the Word Verification
The problem is that the words can only be 7 letters long. So it’s difficult.
Shotgun (perfect! must add)
Bacon (already got it)
Fuckoffanddie (much much too long)
Nobama (oh wait - new one!!)
“She and I Went Out for Drinks and Then She Needed Morphine”
True story.
Shit happens I guess.
Facebook Really IS for Fncking Retards
So we all have our alter egos and aliases. Right??
So tonight my Facebook alter ego (or is it an alias?) received a “friend request” from Christina Pica Turcinovic wanting to know if I’m “Ari’s better half.”
So guess what - I tried to log into FaceCrap only to find out that the site is DOWN. Know what else? For the limited time I actually participated in it, Facecrap was down at least 10% of the time.
And to Christina Pica Turcinovic I’d like to say, I’m no one’s “better half.” I’m the best half there is, baby.
My Approach to Relationships Going Forward
Just don’t say anything.
EVER.
Money Honey
I found money in my ass!
No, seriously.
Ok, not really.
But close.
I NEVER put anything in the back pocket of my jeans (or any pants for that matter).
I never reach into the back pocket of my jeans.
So imagine my surprise when on my way back from the mailbox tonight I reached into the back pocket of my jeans (for some unknown reason) and found $12!
Did I put it there?
Hope so.